Bittersweet

If you know me, you know that I love my job. No, really. I LOVE my job. More than most people could ever say about their work.

The job was pretty much mine from the start and over 2.5 years later, I have been so privileged to work for an amazing team of bosses and an even more amazing company. Back when I was hired on, I told my boss (I have two, but for the sake of convenience, I'll just keep it singular) about the husband and I being in the adoption process. At the time, we had no ETA, no prospects on the timing of when we might have a child but they were supportive.

Fast forward to December 2011 and even though the subject had come up a time or two, they had nearly forgotten about it. When our call came on Christmas Eve, I fretted the entire weekend on when/how to break the news to my boss. More importantly, the fact that I was needing to begin maternity immediately. My fears are almost always unwarranted because they have never not been supportive regarding my personal life.

I broke the news and with their full support and proactive responses, I began my maternity leave to care for Noah. Six weeks passed and I signed up for the remaining six weeks I was allowed for FMLA.

Twelve weeks is a long time to pray - pray about our family - pray about Noah - pray about our future.

So here we are today. I returned to work today after twelve weeks gone and after three years at my company (2.5 in my current position), I turned in my letter of resignation.

I know this is the right decision for me and for Noah. We are blessed that it is possible for me to stay at home with our children but I can't help feeling saddened over the change. If I could have the best of both worlds, I would. But I walked into the office today feeling God's grace on me, feeling such confidence and assurance to get the ball rolling to close this chapter of my life.

It's a bittersweet ending and I plan to relish these final two weeks at my job and give it all I have left to give.