Expectations

"What's the one thing that is different than what you expected now that you have a baby?"

I get asked this question quite often. Maybe not this exact phrasing but in some form or fashion. And to be honest, there really isn't much of the "unexpected" that I wasn't prepared for that absolutely floored me about motherhood.

I knew it would be an adjustment to taking care of a child 24/7 instead of the few hours at a time I was used to with my nephews. I'd been babysitting since I was 13 years old and my first job was as an infant teacher at a daycare (try caring for four babies at a time by yourself), so I had plenty of experience on Baby 411. But at the end of the day, the babies went home to their moms and I went about my life.

I also knew that having a child would completely alter the course of our lives as a married couple. No surprise there either. I choose not to be naive and assume everything will be as it was and thanks to some close friends, they've helped keep me real. It can remain the same in some ways regarding our previous social lives, but having a baby is a season that I was prepared to gladly accept.

As for the adoption portion of it, I don't think any adoptive parent knows how to prepare for all the additional requirements post-placement that millions of regular birth families don't have to concern themselves with; plenty of "to do lists" on top of having a newborn. There's monthly updates, letters and pictures to the birth family, required doctors visits and home studies, court dates, lawyer fees and correspondence...the list goes on.

That all being said, I did come up with a short list of things I did not expect from having a baby that I took for granted before. Nothing life-altering, but it's always the little things that counts.

1. Car Seats and Car Rides
What baby does not LOVE to be in the car and drift off to sleep? What parents aren't thankful that they have a secret weapon for sleepless nights/naps when the baby just can't calm down? Not us and not Noah! I have never heard of a baby hating their car seat until Noah came along. The fussing starts the second we begin to strap him in and I have gone on many drives where all he can do is cry. We've tried timing things with naps and bottles. We've tried different style car seats. We've tried music and lights and toys. Nothing works. So I'm resigned that it's something he'll have to grow out of. Now we only go somewhere if absolutely necessary plus the occasional fun trip because let's face it, I can't be stuck in the house forever and eventually he'll have to learn to be okay in the car.

2. Medicine
I've heard story after story of parents tricking their kids to take medicine, etc., etc. We are actually lucky that for now, Noah has liked taking his medicine. That could range from Tylenol to Gripe Water, but the little guy kind of likes it. Maybe it's because I'm in his face giving him my undivided attention. We'll see how long this lasts.

3. The Outdoors
This isn't something unexpected; more like something I never really thought of before. Noah LOVES being outside. If he's crying, just go outside. If he's bored, just go outside. I guess I didn't really think of a baby playing outside until he'd be big enough to actually play, but Noah loves nature and looking at trees, feeling the grass and (like his mom) people watching from the front porch. 

It's not a long list, but if you ask me in person what it is that I find different about motherhood, then I'll most likely answer with one of these. It will be interesting to see how it changes overtime.