May 25, 2014


There are times I loath social media. I use it on a regular basis myself, but the times when you want to block it out comes with a cost.

A song we used to sing in church held the following words:

"You give and take away.
My heart will choose to say,
'Lord, blessed be Your Name.'"

2014 seems to be the season where I'm learning the truth of those lyrics and choosing to act upon them. I woke this morning to the news that a sweet friend passed away in a car accident last night. Just like that...gone. She was raising funds to become a missionary to Nigeria and I'd had the privilege of getting to have lunch with her a few months ago. The change in her was astounding, her entire being living and breathing for Nigeria. She was selling everything; leaving everything she'd ever known to follow her calling.

I hate all the cliche comments people tend to leave such as "God, needed her home," or "Another angel for Heaven." (Worst of all is the use of "RIP") As I know personally now, there is nothing to ease or replace the grief that her family and fiancee must be feeling. Yet, I still cannot help but being thankful for those last moments with my mom. I had the time to say goodbye. Susanna's family did not and I only pray that they have no regrets. If they are anything like her, then I know they will have that peace.

Her Facebook page has become a memorial of written memories, photos and condolences. So has my mom's. And my friend Joey. And my friend Nita, etc., etc...Why is social media so important in the healing process when we lose someone? The recipient will never read it, never accept a friend request or "like" your words of comfort. We don't take down their page or remove traces of their online presence like you cancel out the rest of every little thing to which their names were attached (i.e., bank accounts, insurance, library cards). Maybe it's comforting to express your feelings knowing there are ___ (insert # here) other "friends" who want to share in your grief.

I may share with those Facebook friends but in all honesty it hurts. Social media only increases the acknowledgement of the void left by a loved one or friend. Their page will never be touched again. Never edited. Never added to. It's left in its own time capsule while we continue on.

However, I still wouldn't take it away.

I'll miss you Susanna.

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