Wedding Shower, Party of One

I've been missing my mom lately. Quite a lot in fact. And as the holidays approach I know it won't get much easier in regards to realizing how much we are missing out on by not having her here.

Still, there seems to be plenty of "firsts" that are not holiday-related. First musical I saw without my mom. My niece's first birthday without my mom. Other birthdays without my mom. The first sneak peak of the new Downton Abbey season without my mom. The list goes on and while some are mostly nostalgic, there are others where I can honestly feel this physical void where she should be. 

Some very special young friends of ours are getting married next month. I have known the groom since he was born and the bride since she was a little girl. Even though we haven't kept in contact as much over the past few years, I was blessed to be invited to the wedding and of course the wedding shower which was held the other week.

Here's where my mom would normally come into play.

You know the cardinal rule that women usually go to the bathroom in pairs? Well it was kind of like that for my mom and I in regards to wedding/baby showers. Not that we'd be afraid to go alone...we always knew all the guests and it's always a friendly reunion...I guess there was comfort in having someone to attend with. We could carpool and not feel awkward being the first to show up or whenever we needed to leave. We'd even pitch in most of the time for one of the bigger registry gifts to give. My mom and I sort of had a buddy system going when it came to those kind of events.

I almost didn't go to this wedding shower. Her absence was a very present reminder that she's not here. We're still living life and life will always continue to move forward for all sorts of celebrations and every day occurrences such as her favorite TV shows. 

Being afraid to go to a wedding shower to see people you love may sound silly but it was another "first" I guess I hadn't been prepared to experience. I'm sure there's still many more to come.